Blessed to have this crazy, non judgemental group in my life.
I was in line for a movie ticket when a bunch of giggly girls from a popular Delhi school caught my eye. They were probably out on a class excursion to a mall (first thought: why are they having a class excursions to a mall. But thats a seperate post altogether) and as most high school girls behave, there was a lot of hair flipping, exciting chatter and giggles.
What caught my attention though was that a lot of the laughter and jeers were directed to one particular girl , who walked alone with a friend of hers at a safe distance from the rest of the gang. Maybe it was because her socks were not rolled up to the level of what is considered ‘cool’, maybe because she had a mole on her face which some guy will probably find incredibly sexy in the future, maybe because she wasn’t the ideal weight. But as she sauntered ahead pretending not to care, I knew that each jibe, each little giggle directed at her was probably causing a waterfall of tears inside, despite the defiant look she had on the face.
It bought me back to my school days. I didn’t have it as bad as some of the other girls did, but I was never the ‘cool kid’ either. High school girls can be the most vicious creatures sometimes, and what they don’t realise is that every nasty statement you make about someone when they are young, permanently damages their self image. I know girls from my school who went from happy, excited teenagers, to quiet, withdrawn ones because of the constant chatter and jibes experienced at school. Some girls developed body image issues which cropped up later in life, and others just thought they were downright ugly (This used to be me, but now I think Im fah-bulous ;) ) .
I’m also going to admit and say that I have been on the other side of it too- where I inflicted misery on someone who was ‘uncooler’ than me. But this is precisely what I want to ask from all the women around..
Questions I want to ask other women:
– Juvenile girls in High school I understand, but why is it that grown women feel the need to take down other women to feel good about themselves even later on in life? You see it online everyday- cyber bullying !
– Why is it that men have a ‘bro code’ and you rarely see one man talking down about another, but a group of women invariably talk about other women
– Why is it that we talk about womens lib, and womens rights and how men should treat women, but nobody talks about how women treat women? I find the % of women who treat other women in a poor light far greater than the men who do so
– Why is it that when we see a friends 3 year old daughter we say “She is so pretty, she will be gorgeous when she grows up, thats such a stunning dress”, and when we see a friends 3 year old son we say “So what are you doing these days? Which school do you go to? Do you like it there”
– Why is it, that no matter how smart and ambitious a woman is, we will still comment on her age to get married, when she should have a child instead of her accomplishments in life?
Let’s stop with the mean girls syndrome people. It starts in high school, it continues at the work place, and it’s magnified online as well. The next time you talk about another woman, remember she has battles of her own to face in life, which you probably know nothing about. Be kind, have each others backs and learn something from the boys for a change. If you aren’t going to respect other women, don’t expect the men to do the same.
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